As I've mentioned before, I tend to eavesdrop. Don't get me wrong, it's never malicious. But if I hear something amusing enough, I file it away. And today, ladies and gentlemen, I got a gem.
I was in Victoria's Secret during my lunch hour finishing up some Christmas shopping. Minding my own business, of course. Well, that's not entirely true. Let's be honest, I also love to people watch. And let me tell you, Christmastime at Victoria's Secret is the perfect place to people watch. Women are hastily trying to find the perfect sexy outfit. Men won't look at anything or anyone for longer than 2 seconds. Lots of nervousness. But the absolute best is when a couple shops at Vicki's together. Perhaps women see it as a way to get some guidance as to what is super sexy. And maybe it gives men license to linger a little longer than they normally would. The couple I saw today was a perfect case study to support this theory.
The woman, in her late thirties, was practically running from item to item, holding them up for her husband to either support or veto. At first, he stayed about two steps behind her, but eventually began going off on his own. He actually started picking stuff up and offering suggestions. Hands out of pockets and touching lingerie. Amazing. Pretty soon, it was like he owned the place.
After awhile, they made their purchases and were headed back my way in order to leave the store. I guess he was still on the Vicki's natural high because he was still pointing stuff out and making comments. As soon as they passed me, he stopped, pointed at a pair of pajama pants and said "Huh. Those look like somethin' Beetlejuice'd wear!"
I did some investigative research and really, can you blame him?
The pants in question.
Beetlejuice.
So I guess the moral of the story is to take your man lingerie shopping with you. If you don't, you'll end up paying $98 dollars for a pair of sexy pants that will make your man think of Beetlejuice when you are trying to get down to business.
Just a bit of advice. That's what I'm here for folks.
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6 comments:
there really are no words that describe this post...it's like, like, something...
We've come for your daughter Chuck.
Yeah, that about sums it up.
Ah. Well... I attended Juilliard... I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school. I travel quite extensively. I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that.
Better not let P read this post, or he'll go sniffing around to see what you bought.
Jimmer sent me.
That was a beautiful post. I'm still laughing about it! And the pictures truly bring the message home. Because let's face it, nothing gets a man hotter than him thinking he is bopping a decaying, scruffy dude. Pant, pant. Or in this case, "Go put on that red teddy for Pete's sake!"
Not so fast, round boy. We're gonna have some laughs.
Attention K-Mart shoppers!
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