Youins. Is it in Your Dictionary?

I heard a new word tonight.  Notice I used the word "heard" not "learned."  I don't plan on ever using the word, but I thought I'd share it with you:  youins.  As in "Are youins gonna be there at 6:00?"  or "I'm counting on youins."

Now, the first time I heard the word, I thought I heard wrong or it was a slip of the tongue.  But then it was used a second, third and fourth time.  There's no mistaking it.  Someone out there uses the word "youins" on purpose.  You've been warned.

Summertime Brings Out the Crazies

Driving to work this morning, I passed a hitchhiker. And not just a normal hitchhiker, if there is such a thing. No, this guy was on a bike with his sleep mat rolled up and strapped behind his seat, with a sign attached that read "Need Ride, Just Honk."

Wait, wait, wait.

Hitchhikers are now giving directions and offering suggestions? And as the driver, I'm expected to not only give rides, but load bikes? And what kind of greedy hitchhiker solicites car rides while riding a bike? A hitchhiker with a bike is better off than like 99% of all hitchhikers out there. (*Not an official statistic, just a guess. But I think it's a really good guess.)

Then, at lunchtime, I was driving back to work and almost hit a guy swerving his bike back and forth in the middle of several lanes of traffic. Sound like a middle schooler enjoying his summer break? Nope, just a 50-something year old man wearing a red polyester track suit trying to operate what looked like a just-stolen middle schooler's bike.

Thank goodness I didn't see anything crazy on my way home from work. Unless you count the wild-haired guy who held the door for me at Speedway. I said thanks and he answered me with a grunt. An actual, guttural grunt. (And to think I was just getting ready to compliment the do-it-yourself tattoo on his left bicep.) But he kind of saved the day for me at checkout. As the lady rang up his 6-pack of Busch Light (bottles), she asked,

"That it?"

And he grunted in one of the lowest voices I've ever heard, "Nah. I got gas."

Well, my friend, if you don't already, you will tomorrow after those Busch Lights.

VHS Update: Because I Know You Care

I ran across a few more movies to add to my list: The Princess Bride, When Harry Met Sally, Stand By Me, Labyrinth and if you're P, the Ernest movies.  I think his favorite is Ernest Goes to Camp.  It's hard to argue with that pick.

In related movie news, our local Blockbuster was having a huge sale on previously viewed DVDs.  I picked up four movies for $20:  Waitress, Superbad, the aforementioned When Harry Met Sally and Evening.  I also got Thank You for Smoking for $3.99.  I've never seen the last two, but I bought them so I didn't have to buy Porky's or some random Stone Cold Steve Austin movie.  

Also, we saw two good movies this week that I would recommend to anyone who likes thrillers.  Shooter with Mark "The funkiest of the bunch" Walhberg and Untraceable starring Diane Lane.  Both good flicks if you're looking for a quality rental.   

Be Kind, Please Rewind

Maybe it's because we're old-fashioned. Maybe it's because we're just not that into technology. Or maybe it's because we're "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" type of people. Whatever the reason, we still own and use a VCR.

It's actually a little 19-inch TV/VCR combo that I bought for my college dorm room. I got it at Value City for around $80 and my mom DID NOT want me to waste my money on it. Because #1, it was from Value City (if you don't know me, take with you this one thing: I heart the VC) and #2, it was a combo unit which, according to something she read, break easily.

Well, here I am 10 years later and five years into marriage, and that thing still sits on my dresser. Sometimes I long for a cute flat screen with a sleek DVD player. The picture would be better and we'd have twice as much space for more of my junk piles on the dresser. The one thing that holds us back? Laying in bed at night and watching some of our favorite movies that just happen to be on VHS tapes.

I know, I know. We could easily replace all of them with DVDs. But I am currently not that organized and I'm guessing that I won't be anytime soon. So we end up watching a lot of our favorites that we'd probably forget about otherwise. I'm talking about movies like Back to the Future, The Goonies, Maverick, Top Gun (I didn't put those next to each other on purpose, I swear), The Last of the Mohicans and friggin' Memphis Belle.

We've spent the last few nights watching Back to the Future and I'm amazed by how much that movie rocks. It's so original and creative, I just can't get over it. The flux capacitor, 1.21 gigawatts, and "Get your damn hands off her." Not to mention the fabulous performances from Michael J. Fox, Crispin Glover and Christopher Lloyd. And to think, with a DVD player in our bedroom, Back to the Future might have been lost to us except for the occasional showing on TBS.

So I think we're all set on the technology front for now. Or until the TV/VCR combo breaks, just like my mom said it would.

P.S. Value City, I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Bidder #105

P and I have a never-ending quest to find new and different forms of local entertainment.  Our most recent venture is a weekly auction held about 20 minutes away in a small farm town.  Each week the inventory rotates between consignment and new furniture.  We've gone a few times and picked up some nice things.  For example, P spent $40 on a Hoover Wind Tunnel canister vacuum cleaner that normally retails for $260.  We picked up a brand new bookshelf tonight for $12.

Not bad, but the real entertainment comes from less popular items that end up at auction.  The following is a list of my favorite auction items we've seen:

10: An extremely rusted pocketknife with a picture of Elvis

9: Boris and Natasha Halloween Costumes (In a set, of course, except that halfway through they ran out of Natasha costumes and just sold Boris alone, which was weird)

8: Homemade clown dolls (I almost didn't add these to the list because they're still too scary to think about)

7: Neon colored q-tips 

6: Doorknob alarms (battery-powered globes that cats, dogs or the slightest breeze could set off)

5: Ceiling tile (seriously, and in massive amounts)

4: Weed wacker wire (no weed wackers on hand, just the wire)

3: Deep fryer with a malfunctioned lid that wouldn't close (add $5 for the splatter screen you'll have to buy)

2: Set of hair nets

1: Rechargeable power drill that only works with European outlets (use it for 20 minutes, throw it away)

Even if you don't buy anything, it makes for an entertaining evening.  If you're tired of movie night, try an auction.  You could become the next proud owner of a rusted Elvis pocketknife.  Fingers crossed...