Summertime Brings Out the Crazies

Driving to work this morning, I passed a hitchhiker. And not just a normal hitchhiker, if there is such a thing. No, this guy was on a bike with his sleep mat rolled up and strapped behind his seat, with a sign attached that read "Need Ride, Just Honk."

Wait, wait, wait.

Hitchhikers are now giving directions and offering suggestions? And as the driver, I'm expected to not only give rides, but load bikes? And what kind of greedy hitchhiker solicites car rides while riding a bike? A hitchhiker with a bike is better off than like 99% of all hitchhikers out there. (*Not an official statistic, just a guess. But I think it's a really good guess.)

Then, at lunchtime, I was driving back to work and almost hit a guy swerving his bike back and forth in the middle of several lanes of traffic. Sound like a middle schooler enjoying his summer break? Nope, just a 50-something year old man wearing a red polyester track suit trying to operate what looked like a just-stolen middle schooler's bike.

Thank goodness I didn't see anything crazy on my way home from work. Unless you count the wild-haired guy who held the door for me at Speedway. I said thanks and he answered me with a grunt. An actual, guttural grunt. (And to think I was just getting ready to compliment the do-it-yourself tattoo on his left bicep.) But he kind of saved the day for me at checkout. As the lady rang up his 6-pack of Busch Light (bottles), she asked,

"That it?"

And he grunted in one of the lowest voices I've ever heard, "Nah. I got gas."

Well, my friend, if you don't already, you will tomorrow after those Busch Lights.