Driving home from a weekend trip yesterday, I noticed an exit sign for Monessen, PA. As we got closer, the exit looked familiar. And it hit me. So I hit P. I grabbed his arm and said (probably verbatim):
"Holy crap! Monessen, PA!"
As he often does when he doesn't understand what I'm talking about, P shook his head back and forth with his mouth turned down, eyebrows raised and shoulders shrugged.
"You know. Monessen, PA. Where I got my first job offer out of school."
"Oh," he said, completely uninterested.
Maybe it's because I'm a woman, maybe it's because I'm me. But stuff like this completely fascinates me. I tried to explain.
"If I would have taken that job, our lives would be completely different!"
"Maybe," he said.
"What do you mean 'maybe'? You weren't out of school yet, so you probably would have followed me out here and gotten a job. Our lives would have started here instead of in Toledo and Detroit. We would be in a completely different place right now. I certainly wouldn't be at my job and you wouldn't be in yours. We'd have different jobs, different co-workers, different friends, different hobbies, different everything!"
"But we'd still be together, so it wouldn't be that different," he said.
I guess we just see things differently. Me, I marvel at how one decision could have completely changed my/our life path. I think about the people I work with everyday who I never would have met. What about my house, my neighborhood, the relationships we've built with the friends and family who now live so close to us? And how would life in Monessen, PA have treated us? Would we still be the "us" that we are now?
It's just crazy, I tell you. Almost too much to think about. But I will say this. Driving past the Monessen exit, I looked out at the town and thought: it would have been tough here starting out, just the two of us. I know we would have made it though. Maybe that's what P was trying to explain in his one-sentence way. That he'll love me and be my husband wherever our life path takes us.
Thanks for the reminder, Monessen, PA.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Monessen, PA
Posted by Maureen at 9:20 PM
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5 comments:
That's so cute. You can take anything and bring it back to how great it is to be with P.
Me, I'm thinking about how my life would have been better had I not spent the last three minutes reading this dumb blog.
Dear Miserable in Marriage:
Don't worry, you probably would have just used that time to feel sorry for yourself or make fun of someone else. Your time was better spent here, seeing how others make their happiness happen.
Hugs!
Your Sometimes Nothing Blogger
Oh Honey,
I was happy just like you, but now I've been married for a while and the honeymoon's over. Kids and time will take its toll. Good luck.
I might seem miserable, but don't judge, after all we don't have a sock bag.
As one that has been "married for a while," (over 19 years and counting!) I can say it doesn't have to be that way. I think Anonymous is one of the unlucky ones and actually revels in his misery and deserves his miserable life, with or without a sock bag (we have a sock drawer - maybe there is some happiness correlation there?)
I enjoyed your reflection on what might have been. While I'm sure you would have been successful in Monassen, I'm glad you found your way here.
Thanks for the kind words, Netter!
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